Sunday, November 02, 2008

We CAN Fight Back Against Sexual Harassment

I didn’t have a cellphone with me when this outrageous incident happened but I didn’t need one to cut this slimy guy down to size!

Everyday I have to take the elevator to the 24th floor where our office is located and most mornings it’s ridiculously crowded. Last Monday, I boarded the elevator and as more people got in, I got pushed way to the back. To my annoyance, I felt the man behind me pushing his private parts into the groove between my buttocks. There was absolutely no room to move forward. As the elevator rose, he quickly developed a definite hard-on.

“Ewww, gross!” I thought. And I turned my head to give him my best angry glare. That’s when I saw who it was: The VP of marketing, one of my bosses. I can’t use his name so let’s just call him Mr. Asswipe. He gives this sheepish smile and a helpless, “Hey, what ya gonna do?” shrug. Well, in this economy, who wants to risk losing their job? So instead of giving him a piece of my mind, I just glanced away and for the next 30 seconds I had to just grit my teeth and bear it.

We all got off on 24 and that would have been it – an embarrassing but forgettable incident - except that at 5 pm when work was over, the asshole tried the very same thing! I don’t know how he did it, but when we all boarded the elevator, Mr. Asswipe managed to position himself right behind me again. This time, the elevator seemed to stop on every floor on the way down and every time, more people crammed on, forcing me back into him. And on this trip, the pig got much raunchier. His penis was not only fully erect, he was grinding it against my backside like some horny teenage boy freak-dancing at the junior prom. Finally I had had enough. I went totally Charlton Heston on him. I elbowed him in the side and snarled, “Get your stinking little prick out of my ass!”

The look on his face was priceless. He turned completely red – and his penis wilted like a wet noodle. He backed off me and looked like he wished he could disappear. Everyone on the elevator was staring at him.
Well, it turned out I didn’t lose my job. The powers that be got wind of what happened and read Mr. Asswipe the riot act. He’s been ordered to attend sensitivity classes and everything. Meanwhile, a coworker told me that the firm can’t fire me anytime in the foreseeable future because they’re terrified that if they do, I’ll sue the pants off them for sexual harassment – which you can bet I would!

Sisters, we CAN fight back against these predators. I hope this story inspires others to do so.

~Submitted by Laura W.