harassment brings out the best in everyone!

I was walking down the street with my friends this summer, and a car full of teenage guys screeched but yelling indiscernible phrases. Me, being the incredibly level-headed and calm person I am, proceeded to yell "Ass Holes" at the top of my lungs as they speed off. Unfortunately, this just seemed to get the testosterone running more, and the car pulled into a driveway and turned around. Luckily they did not stop, but only came around long enough for the passenger to yell "Hey babe, wanna touch it?" No. As a matter-of-fact, shocking though it is, I do not. So shut the fuck up!

~submitted by Grace

Free publicity

I took the bus home this past Friday- the 147 express, from Michigan Ave. to Edgewater, where I have recently bought my first condo. I was sitting in the back corner of the bus- along that back row. Half-gazing out the window, and half eavesdropping on the conversation between this very good looking guy and his female coworker, I noticed that the guy to my left was rubbing his right leg up against my left leg- very slowly, up and down. Immediately, I snapped my head to the left, and in a very stern, yet hushed voice, I say to him "What the fuck are you doing with your leg?" and he immediately stopped. Unfortunately, I was stuck where I was. But sitting there, I kept getting angrier and angrier, and remembered your website, and took his picture with my camera phone. Cute guy and coworker girl thought I took a picture of him, but I explained the whole thing, right while he was sitting next to me. Surprise surprise, he got up and off at the next stop! Cute guy and coworker now think I am awesome, and I believe you'll have 2 new fans of Hollaback.

~ submitted by Emily (picture to follow!)

Ohio Nuns Holla!

I wanted to share a funny experience I had in Cincinnati last spring: I was volunteering with a community of Benedictine nuns in the Over-the-Rhine area of Cincinnati. While walking to one of our project sites w/ one of the sisters (she wasn't wearing a habit, and I was dressed in just normal clothes), a man biked past us and called out, "Euh girl! You look good!"
I didn't know what to do, but the sister with me just responded with, "Hello, brother. May God bless you today."
She turned to me and said, "I think he was directing that comment at you, but it doesn't hurt to send blessings to everyone."

It was pretty great. She was just so calm and collected about the whole thing.

Once again , your site is awesome - keep it up!!!

~ Julie, 22, Evanston, IL

More from Wisconsin ...

I know this is for Chicago but I live in Wisconsin about 2 hours aways... I figured this was close enough.

I can remember at 15 years old, walking through town and having older men whistle, hoot, holler, whatever they wanted and it scaring me. Now I'm just annoyed. I am 21 years old and I work 3rd shift at a convience store. Most of the men there are regulars but once and a while I will get someone from out of town, drunk.

Just last week I had a man ask me if he was "making my pussy wet"... What the hell kind of pick up line is that??? I was so disgusted. And I told him. I asked if he thought that was attractive, if he thought I enjoyed something like that comment. And he just smiled. Seriously thinking that it was ok. Well it wasn't. I let him know kindly that it was a rude and a disturbing thing to say to a woman, especially one he didn't know. Yet he continued to say very nasty things to me. Enough was enough. I told him to leave the store.

Even though I felt "violated" by his comment I felt great standing up and letting him know he was wrong. And I felt even better once he had left.

Thank you for having this site. it is nice to vent.

~submitted by Julie

3rd Party Hollaback

On the bus yesterday, I witnessed another woman being harassed. A homeless man entered the bus and started asking for money, explaining that he lived on the street and needed our help. I got a bad feeling from him and didn't want to hunt through my wallet, so I decided to ignore him and keep reading my novel. The woman next to me was the only person who responded by giving him money; she emptied out her change purse and apologized for not having more. And do you know how this guy responded to her act of kindness? He
got in her personal space (and let me assure you, he did not smell pleasant), leaning over the seat in front of us and started telling her what beautiful "eyes" she had. He was clearly prepared to come on to her until she disembarked, which is exactly what she did at the next stop. She went out of her way to be nice, so why couldn't he respond in kind? Before she exited the bus, I was considering speaking up and asking the guy to leave her alone, while simultaneously wondering why none of the men seated around us would help her out.

It reminded me of an incident at my local Starbucks when a man actaully came to the defense of a woman being harassed. There was a guy sitting near me who seemed a little unbalanced, mumbling to himself and everything, and at one point, he stood in front of a woman who was working on something and started bothering her. She was clearly uncomfortable, but didn't know how to get rid of the guy. So, another man who was sitting near her stood up, and
very discretely, politely, and yet firmly convinced the guy to back off and leave the cafe. I almost laughed when he actually used the line "perhaps you should leave the lady alone." Anyway, it was sweet, and very encouraging to see a man stand up for a woman who was being harassed.

~submitted by Jessica Q

HOLLABACK FAQs

Question: Are you a bunch of crazed feminazis who hate men?

Answer: Actually, HollaBack is a collective comprised of men and women who believe in building communities where everyone feels comfortable, safe, and respected. Many people, particularly men, are unaware of the frequency and severity of disrespect and intimidation that numerous folks, especially women, experience in public spaces on a daily basis. HollaBack aims to expose and combat street harassment as well as provide an empowering forum in this struggle.

Question: OK, but what exactly is street harassment?

Answer: Street harassment is a form of sexual harassment that takes place in public spaces. At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups (women and LGBTQ folks, for example) of their vulnerability to assault in public spaces. Further, it reinforces the ubiquitous sexual objectification of these groups in everyday life.

At HollaBack, we believe that what specifically counts as street harassment is determined by those who experience it. While there is always the classic, “Hey baby, nice tits” there are so many other forms that go unnoted. If you feel like you have been harassed, HOLLA BACK!

Question: But aren’t you worried that your site will fuel the latent vindictiveness within women and LGBTQ-identified folks across the country, leading to a massive witch-hunt and rampant Soviet-style denunciations of countless innocents?

Answer: No.

Question: I heard something about your position on antiracism. What’s that about, and what does it have to do with street harassment?

Answer: Replacing sexism with racism is not a proper holla back. Due in part to prevalent stereotypes of men of color as sexual predators or predisposed to violence, HollaBackNYC asks that contributors do not discuss the race of harassers or include other racialized commentary. If you feel that race is important to your story, please make sure its relevance is explained clearly and constructively in your post. Don’t understand? Click here.

Question: But isn’t your idea of “street harassment” just belittling another person’s culture?

Answer: Street harassers occupy the full spectrum of class, race, and ethnicity. Sexual harassment, and street harassment specifically, is resisted around the world. To condense another’s culture into vague assumptions about who and what they are is to generalize dangerously about a wide range of experiences and perspectives.

Question: Confronting street harassers can be dangerous. What about safety issues?

Answer: While everyone is vulnerable to stranger rape and sexual assault, studies show that those who are aware of their surroundings, walk with confidence and, if harassed, respond assertively, are less vulnerable. Nevertheless, direct confrontations with street harassers may prove extremely dangerous, particularly alone or in unpopulated spaces. While it is each individual’s right to decide when, how, and if to Holla Back, do keep issues of safety in mind. Upon deciding to photograph a harasser, you may consider doing so substantially after the initial encounter and from a distance, ensuring the harasser is unaware of your actions.

Question: I am a man who was recently sexually objectified by a woman on the street. I think this is reverse harassment. Why won’t you post my story?

Answer: While a woman making unsolicited sexual remarks to a man is certainly conceivable, the power dynamics of such an encounter are very different in a society where women comprise a historically subordinated group. HollaBack is a project dedicated to combating a particular form of violence that designates subordinated groups (such as women and LGBTQ folks, for example) as targets in public spaces or otherwise vulnerable to unsolicited, nonconsensual encounters with strangers. It is thus not a forum for reporting other unpleasantries.

Question: Isn’t street harassment the price you pay for living in a city?

Answer: No, local taxes are the price you pay for living in a city. We would love to see some portion of our local taxes go towards preventing street harassment, but alas, they don’t.

In fact, street harassment is not confined to urban areas. It occurs in shopping malls, cars, parking lots, public parks, airplanes, fast-food restaurants, gas stations, churches, and numerous other public spaces.

Question: So let’s say a man sees a woman he thinks is attractive and tells her so. Are you saying that makes him a harasser?

Answer: Some do not find comments such as “Hello, beautiful” or “Hey, gorgeous” offensive. Many do. Others may find them intimidating, intrusive, or just an annoying pain in the ass. Keep in mind that many women experience unsolicited comments, as well as violent verbal assault, from men in public spaces on a regular basis. Rather than deliberating the “gray areas” of street harassment, treat everyone you encounter with respect.

Question: If you show off your boobage, shouldn’t you expect some compliments?

Answer: A compliment is not a compliment if it makes the recipient feel bad.

Question: Sure, but if “the harasser” were hot, wouldn’t you like it?

Answer: This has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with power.

Question: You’re just a bunch of prudes, then?

Answer: Like we said, this has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with power.

Question: Street harassment sucks, but it’s only a small part of the patriarchy. Doesn’t focusing on this specific issue detract from everything else we're up against?

Answer: The violence and disrespect experienced daily by countless people in public spaces is a serious problem with real, material consequences. While HollaBack is a project dedicated to this particular issue, it is committed to a coalitional approach and situates street harassment within a larger framework of social and economic questions. Thus, the collective aims to collaborate with a diverse range of feminist, queer and antiracist initiatives.

not a friend

the scene: around 7pm, wednesday november 8th. i had just arrived at the bryn mawr el stop, and was walking home. i was waiting for the light to turn at the intersection of hollywood and ridge. just minding my own business and bobbing my head to some delicious jams on my ipod, when out of the blue, someone grabs my left ass cheek!

i immediately started screaming at him and called the police. he kept walking. afterward, i realized that i should've followed him, or perhaps snapped a photo on my camera phone, or beaten the living shit out of him, but i was so in shock that i wasn't quite thinking clearly at the time.

this whole situation makes me want to laugh. i know that assault isn't funny, but what the hell?? who goes around grabbing strangers' asses? and i realize that i have a big ass, but that doesn't give anyone license to just up and grab it.

~subitted by Carrie

Antiracism

Nobody likes being stereotyped and mistreated because of how they look ... remember?

Replacing sexism with racism is NOT a proper holla back.

Due in part to prevalent stereotypes of men of color as sexual predators or predisposed to violence, HOLLABACKCHICAGO asks that contributors not discuss the race of harassers or include other racialized commentary.

If you feel that race is important to your story, please make sure its relevance is explained clearly and constructively in your post.

Initiatives combating of sexual harassment and assault have struggled against the perpetuation of racist stereotypes, particularly construing men of color as sexual predators. There exist widespread fictions regarding who perpetrators are: the myth of racial minorities, particularly Latino and Black men, as prototypical rapists and prone to violence is quite common. This stems in part from a tragic and violent history in which Black men in the U.S. were commonly and unjustly accused of assaulting white women as well as lynched by mobs and “tried” in biased courts.

Because of the complexity of institutional and socially ingrained prejudices, Holla Back prioritizes resisting both direct and unconscious/ unintentional reinforcement of unfair hierarchies. Simultaneously, HOLLABACK aims to highlight interrelations between sexism, racism and other forms of bias and violence.

Further Reading:

“White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack”

http://www.cwru.edu/president/aaction/UnpackingTheKnapsack.pdf

“I was taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group.” Short, accessible piece on white privilege and male privilege.

“A Black Feminist Critique of Same-Race Street Harassment”

http://www.ssc.upenn.edu/polisci/programs/theory/Fogg-Davis.pdf

Focuses on the experiences of Black lesbians and the need for Black women to hold Black men accountable for upholding Black patriarchy.

“Mapping the Margins: Intersectionality, Identity Politics, and Violence Against Women of Color”

http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/Organizations/healthnet/WoC/feminisms/crenshaw.html

Considers the intersections of racism and patriarchy, and how the experiences of women of color remain unrepresented within the discourses of both feminism and antiracism.

Wisconsin

I actually live in WI, but this is the closest hollaback, and I'll feel scummy until I holla back at the douchemonkey I ran into last Saturday night. Saturday night in my town is full of drunks, and hence, not the safest place ever. I'm walking home with my boyfriend, and a little worried because a stumbling drunk man (who I previously saw punch a fence) appears to be following us. He shambles off eventually, but then some other drunk asshat with his two friends half-lurches/half-lunges at me and mumbles, "I fucking love you," then laughs when I make a freaked out face and squeeze my boyfriend's hand really tight. Since I didn't want to get into a fight with this dude (which my boyfriend would have to win for me), I didn't say anything, but for the record, "Scaring girls who are walking home late at night is not fucking cool, you stupid prick!"

~Submitted by Danielle